Parenting Insights

Hello, I’m Ritika Sahni and in this video, you will hear from two powerful voices and their heartful journeys, including a small insight from me.

First up is Poonam Natarajan, a loving parent who speaks passionately about the importance of a personalized and thoughtful plan for children with disabilities.

She reminds us that as parents, we are their strongest advocates, empowering them to become self-advocates, being able to speak their truth, share their stories and get their voices heard.

It’s not all about planning, it’s about believing in their potential and fighting for their future.

As a parent of a child with disability, I think parents to understand that when it comes to the rehabilitation plan of their child, they are very much part of the team, as parents have to be partners.

Parents have to ensure that whatever their child’s therapy needs are, are transferred to them, so that they become an expert on their child.

Otherwise uh otherwise we will not be able to really get the best results.

And it’s very important as a family and for the person with disability also, not to just be a student, but to become an part of the disability movement, part of all the needs of disabilities, just not stay as a, okay, as one of the beneficiaries of an organization, but you become, you you also start raising awareness in your neighborhood, in your family, in everybody you meet and then you go on to see where all the needs are and get people together to start these groups.

And once parents become active, which, our children will also become active advocates and the actually in the end of the day, it is the people with disabilities, or the self-advocates, they, what they say and what their story is and what their needs are, is what is really required, because even the UN convention realized that uh people with disabilities felt that they were uh they did not have control over their lives and professionals and parents kind of took over their lives and made all the decisions for them.

And that’s why they came up with the slogan, “nothing about us without us”.

And it’s uh I think to hear the voices of people with disabilities and let disability and people with disability to lead the movement.

And at Vidyasagar, uh we try and do that as much as possible.

Next up is George Abraham, a remarkable self-advocate living with blindness, sharing his deeply personal story.

George opens up about growing up and how his parents had to navigate the well-meaning but sometimes overwhelming advice they received from others.

His perspective is raw and real, showing us that it is important to listen to the child and their journey, even when the world is trying to tell us what’s best.

You know, uh, my mother once told me when she was talking about my early childhood, uh about the advice that she had got from various people around, about creating funds uh, providing support, having a escort all the time, full-time and putting me into a blind school and you know, it was all based on dependency and she said, ‘yes we will cross the bridge when we’ll get to it.

And I think uh it’s very important for you to not preempt that life is a problem, you know?

Live life and if there are challenges, learn to address them, sort them out and every problem I believe has a solution and it’s only up to you to kind of uh kind of uh find a solution for it.

It might take time but you need to be patient but you need to believe that there is a way forward and uh only those people who move forward I believe will reach their summit or reach their destination.

And my parents uh I think uh did constantly endeavor to empower me to be able to take on the world, both in terms of my communication, in terms of my abilities, about, about uh in terms of my skills, uh in terms of my focus on knowledge.

Uh and and I think today when I look back, I think what a, lot of things that they did when I was a kid, uh has held me in good stead even today, uh in terms of my attitude and in terms of my approach to life.

So, I think parenting is very critical and uh you know parents need to focus on empowering their children and preparing them for world, living the life in the world.

They need to realize that there is a point in time that the parents will not be around and the child has to still continue living and therefore you need to prepare the child for that time.

Uh I I I, you know, every child might be different and your approach to your child would be unique but you need to be very clear in your head that this child will outlive you and need to be able to live with dignity, with respect and with uh happiness and therefore our endeavor, to my mind, parents need to uh empower and equip the child to face life independently and uh be independent right from the beginning.

Uh stop doing things for them when they can do it themselves.

Uh there would be issues where the blindness or the disability could uh be a limitation.

Uh we need to take a call, help where it’s necessary but as far as possible, get the child to do whatever.

And I was encouraged to debate, I was encouraged to learn music, I was encouraged to take up athletics.

I was en…encouraged to participate in theater, I was en…uh encouraged to uh compete in my school uh irrespective of who the others in the class were.

I was expected to do well in class, so expectations very important.

Uh you need to create a dream in the child and you need to empathize with the child and empower the child to take on the, you know, the the the the dream that the child has.

And I think your kid should be okay.

And now, I’ll be sharing insights from my experience.

30 years of working alongside people with disabilities, I’ve seen how important, how critically important it is for parents to be the unwavering support their children need to navigate their world.

My advice to parents, you are not alone and every step you take matters.

The number one thing that I always like to tell um our friends, our parents, um, who have uh children with special needs and disabilities is, “that you are not alone’.

There are people, there are support systems, there are professionals who are there to help you.

Number two, I think it’s extremely important as a parent for you to realize that you should aim for self-reliance in your child.

That should be your basic aim.

Be aware of the child’s capabilities, do not overprotect the child, do not under-utilize the child’s potentialities and allow your child to be part of all life situations, that’s very very important.

No matter what you are going through, no matter what you feel looking at your child, be aware that education is the answer for everybody, including your child who has a disability.

Celebrate the smaller achievements.

I know, at times we get very frustrated, parents get frustrated, ‘there is so much I’m doing, 24 hours I’m working with a child, and the child doesn’t seem to understand’.

Remember, depending upon the disability your child has, you might not get the reaction that you are, you know, looking out for.

But the child is imbibing, is imbibing subtly, is imbibing subconsciously.

And every time your child gives you some kind of an indication of having learned something, rejoice that.

Don’t wait for the bigger picture.

Rejoice these smaller achievements that you have.

Also remember, do not get bogged down by the reactions of the typical parents.

And by typical parents I mean, there are parents around you who don’t have children with disabilities.

There are parents of the non-disabled children.

At times, you know, I think as a per…as a parent who has a disabled child, you get very bogged down with what that other person is thinking, do not do that.

Don’t get bogged down with that.

You’re doing great.

Do not get bogged down.

And most importantly, you also deserve your own happiness.

Do not feel guilty when you have an enjoying moment in your life, when you go out for a walk, when you go for a movie, when you, when you meet your friends, do not feel guilty.

You owe it to be happy yourself.

A happy mother is always a great mother to be around, irrespective of whether your child is disabled or not.

At the heart of everything is this: It’s vital that every person has the right to speak for themselves and be heard.

True support is about collaboration, understanding, and respecting each individual’s unique path.

Let’s walk that path together.